I WAS DENIED DISABILITY COVERAGE INSURANCE AND THE REASON IS MADDENING
First of all, if the title is any indication, this post is VERY personal … it will be raw, I’m not going to hold back … but, there is also something to learn here … and sadly, it’s the WRONG MESSAGE in my opinion.
Lately, I have been trying to adult as much as possible … we hired a financial advisor, we are trying to go out to eat less, being more aware of what we spend and how we spend it … you know,
RESPONSIBLE ADULT SH*T
… and one of the things on the list, since I am a business owner and we, as a family, are dependent on my income just as much as we are my husband’s income, was to:
GET A DISABILITY INSURANCE POLICY AND BE COVERED ‘IN CASE’ SH*T GOES DOWN
So, we did all the things … gave all the necessary paperwork … approved all the ‘look into my personal medical history’ rights … and then:
FOUND OUT YESTERDAY THAT I WAS DENIED COVERAGE
Now, here is where things are about to get personal … the REASON I was denied coverage is because in my medical history, it shows that I’ve discussed feeling anxious with my doctor … let’s walk through this a bit to try to make sense of it…
I get SUPER sick about once per year … usually between November and February there is some sort of ‘don't Google it because it will tell you you’re dying’ sickness that grabs hold of me and I’m down for 1-3 weeks … now, during this time, my workload is crazy, my kids are here (duh!!), and if you haven’t heard it before, I’ll letcha know:
MOMS DON’T TRULY GET SICK DAYS …
And so, whilst being SUPER sick, being a mom, trying to keep up with work … because as a business owner who runs the show ALONE, there isn’t anyone I can call to fill in for me …
“HEATHER, IS THIS WHERE YOU WANT PEOPLE TO FEEL SORRY FOR YOU???”
HELL NO, JUST WAIT … I HAVE A POINT.
… so during ALL ^^ that sh*t … I start to feel anxiety … I start to feel frustrated … I start to feel a bit hopeless and depressed because, well: WOULDN’T MOST PEOPLE!??? Maybe I’m just a weirdo who can’t handle ‘it’ but when I’m SUPER sick and can’t do all the things I normally do, it gets me down … not in a ‘scary’ way … but it annoys me that I can’t do it all like I normally would. And when I go to my doctor, instead of keeping it all inside and only focusing on the PHYSICAL issues (like my flu or sinus infection or fever) I also do, what I thought was healthy, and I tell her how it’s affecting me emotionally … a little vent sesh … like, I go to the doctor for a flu and also get a side of therapy …
APPARENTLY, TO AN INSURANCE COMPANY, DISCUSSING YOUR FEELINGS IS BAD …
When I tell my doctor that aside from feeling like crap physically, I’m also feeling down because it’s stopping me from my usual routine, she does as a lot of doctors do … she hands me a prescription … and, as people do, I smile and thank her and I take the paper … sometimes I fill it at the pharmacy and throw it in my medicine cabinet in case I ever feel like taking it … but usually I don’t even fill them … because I hate how medicine makes me feel.
I’M A COCKTAIL GIRL, NOT A DRUG TAKING GIRL … LOL
I don't even like taking Advil … but even just the ‘writing of a prescription’ goes on my medical record … an insurance company sees that … and they decide:
THIS GIRL IS A RED FLAG - AND THE RED X IS CAST - NO INSURANCE FOR ME
This is where I get pissed … the whole world is saying: anxiety is a problem in our society, people need to talk more, people need to ask for help more … but not if you want to do the responsible thing and get insurance as a self employed working human???
Here’s the other thing … did the conversation go something like this?????
Insurance Company: so she feels anxious when she gets sick?
Whoever: yeah
Insurance Company: and there aren’t any follow up visits after for more medicine for depression or anxiety?
Whoever: nope …
Insurance Company: and she’s getting the flu or sinus infections during the ‘usual’ sick months … and also feels down while she’s sick?
Whoever: that’s right …
Insurance Company: and her tax returns show that over the course of 4 years the anxiety she felt while sick didn’t affect her work or make her stop earning money?
Whoever: yes, that’s correct
Insurance Company: …
Whoever: so, it’s all good then?
Insurance Company: NOPE! Denied.
WTF!!??
So, what I’m walking away with is this: I should have NEVER talked to my doctor about the emotions I was feeling while I was sick … I should have actively told her that I DON’T WANT HER TO WRITE ME A PRESCRIPTION, nor do I even want her to mark down that she offered me one … who does that??? And more importantly:
ISN’T THAT THE WRONG MESSAGE?
As a business owner who brings it each and every time I sit down to work … who has shown a clear history of making an income that relies solely on my own will to keep kicking ass … who gets really sick (like going to the doctor sick) one ish times per year … and who is clearly emotionally intelligent enough to know my body and my mind and TALK about it with a licensed professional so I can gain clarity … uhm, I’m the problem??? I’m the one who can’t get coverage for myself and feel protected?
This feels so backwards to me … it makes me mad … I am now a sitting duck just hoping that nothing happens to me that keeps me from designing websites for my clients … it’s f*cked up and completely the wrong message to put out there.
And that’s all I have … I don’t have answers, I don’t have a silver-lining message to share … it’s very upsetting … dare I say ‘anxiety causing’ !!??? Oh wait, nope … never ever ever admit that you feel anxiety of any kind … that’s what red flags do apparently …
XO~ Heather
