WHAT KIND OF PICTURE ARE WE PAINTING WHEN WE TELL KIDS TO HOLD BACK FROM REACHING THEIR FULL POTENTIAL?

On Saturday night I was at a youth football game (like shoulder pads, touchdowns, helmets kind of football) … my son Grayson plays for a team and he loves it! All season we have lost all our games … and I should add, these kids playing are 8-10 years old … very impressionable … here’s what went down:

For the first time EVER our team was ahead … the kids were playing their hearts out, they were listening to the coaches, they were doing what they had been taught all season in practice … they were on fire and they were so happy! That night I learned that one of the rules in this league is that NO TEAM can score over 32 points in a game … and if they do, the coach will be penalized for it and won't be able to coach in the next game. Well, when we were 31 points ahead, one of our kids broke away and ran for a 90-something yard touchdown … he was SO PROUD and SO EXCITED … he did what he was taught in practice, what was hammered into his head for MONTHS … and even though he had been told before that play ‘not to score’ his body and mind took over and in the moment:

HE WAS AN ATHLETE AND NOTHING WAS GOING TO STOP HIM

Now, side note: I fully understand not allowing blowouts to happen … I get why, it makes sense to me … but in every other sport my kids have played in, the games or innings are STOPPED … and here’s why:

YOU SHOULDN’T TEACH A KID TO GO HARD AND DO THEIR BEST IN PRACTICE AND PREACH IT TO THEM AT EVERY GAME … AND THEN SAY: IGNORE ALL THAT NOW

WTF is happening!!?? These kids have worked their asses off all season … have been drilling all season … have been handed out consequences for NOT reaching their full potential … yeah, that’s right:

DON’T GIVE IT YOUR ALL IN A GAME AND WE SEE IT IN THE TAPES??? THAT’S LAPS, MY FRIEND!

But reach that potential in a game, crush the other team, and get close to 32 points??? STOP IT RIGHT NOW … DO NOT GIVE YOUR ALL. It’s so backwards!!!

I have to say, as a mom to a youth athlete, I’m pretty fired up. Hey, league … if you want the kids to stop scoring:

STOP THE F*CKING GAME

Don’t tell my 9 year old to stop trying … to stop giving full effort … to hold back so you don’t upset someone else. That is a lesson I never want my kids to learn. It’s a confusing message and beyond that: it sets them up to feel that their achievements may hurt someone else’s feelings and they should keep their successes a secret.

Going back to the message of no blowouts: Again, I get it … but that should be on the ADULTS to handle, not these kids. The adults, who understand what’s going on, should STOP THE GAME … end it right there! Everyone can feel good about what happened on the field … they did their best, they didn’t slow it down or hold back … and the score can stay under 32 points, since apparently that’s the magic number of feeling bad as the other team ;)

Here’s a cute photo of me and my son Grayson after their big win … his smile is everything:

BRINGING THIS BACK TO BUSINESS …

What’s my point in telling this story? Never hold back! I don't care who you are up against or what the other person is going through … it’s possible to celebrate your successes as a business owner and as a human without feeling guilty! Now, don’t be an asshole and flaunt it like a douche! Obviously, keep it classy … learn how to win and be successful in a way that doesn’t make other people feel like a failure … but reaching your full potential and teaching YOUR KIDS to always go for their full effort is the only lesson I ever want my kids to learn. Period.

XO~ Heather